Have you ever had that little small voice inside of you warn you not to do. Something. Not to go out with someone. Not to marry someone and you ignored that voice. You thought what could it hurt and then you found out what could hurt. It might take you years to recover from that ignorance, from God’s warning. That is the refusal of the call.
Did you want to change jobs and didn’t. Did you want to go to school in Italy and you didn’t. Are you not saying that you know better than God, than your intuition, your being. Have your conversation with God. Do you think of Him or respond to Him as God or as Someone you have to tell what to do. Where are You when God calls?
Are you suffering from egomania. My way or the highway. Do it my way or else. Else I won’t love you. I won’t speak to you. You are not my friend. Don’t speak to me. Don’t speak to my friends. I’m right you are wrong. Die. Go away. I will hurt you. I hate anyone who likes you. Etc., etc., etc.
Where are we as a world. A nation, a culture. How cruel we all are, and how did it all start? Who threw the first stone. Who shed the first tear of rejection, pain, loneliness. Is it even someone else’s fault when we suffer. Do we not suffer because we have suffering within us. Is it from the original fall from grace–the first time we lied, we hated. Did it not start there and grow until we thought pain was from someone else.
We cannot even ask for mercy. It is all us, and collectively. We continue to scratch the Wound, our Sacred Wound. We must surrender to ourselves, our guilt first, and the Joy to recognize ourselves for who and what we are. Nameless and blameless, and somewhat helpless. For this we can become grateful. A life long Sacred Journey.
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